Every relationship begins with excitement. You meet someone new, the chemistry hits, and before long you’re talking about forever. Eventually you commit, and according to God’s design, that means marriage (Genesis 2:24). But once married life settles in, the real world shows up. Passion fades. Routines take over. Kids, work, bills, and stress begin pushing you in different directions.

This isn’t failure.
This is life.

If you’re not intentional, the closeness you once enjoyed drifts. Not because you stopped loving each other, but because everyday pressures steal your time, your energy, and your focus. And the truth is simple:

A marriage takes two willing hearts. One person cannot carry it alone (Amos 3:3).

So how do you stay together through the valleys or rebuild when cracks appear?

1. Pray for Each Other Daily

You cannot stay hardened toward someone you consistently lift up to God. Scripture commands us to pray for each other:

• “Pray for one another…” — James 5:16

• “Carry each other’s burdens.” — Galatians 6:2

Prayer softens your heart and binds you together spiritually.

2. Forgive Quickly and Refuse to Let Grudges Take Root

Nothing destroys a marriage faster than silent resentment. Scripture couldn’t be clearer:

• “Do not let the sun go down on your anger.” — Ephesians 4:26

• “Be kind… forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” — Ephesians 4:32

• “Love keeps no record of wrongs.” — 1 Corinthians 13:5

When you let bitterness linger, you build walls. Forgiveness tears them down.

3. Make Time for Each Other: Real, Intentional Time

Life will not give you free time. You must carve it out.

Whether you can afford date nights or not, the principle stands:

• Sit together without phones

• Take walks

• Have coffee before the kids wake up

• Read Scripture together

• Talk intentionally, not just about logistics

Scripture tells us to guard our relationships:

• “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly.” — 1 Peter 4:8

Love takes time. Time requires sacrifice.

4. Put the Phones Down and Actually Talk

Connection requires presence.

James reminds us:

• “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak.” — James 1:19

Listening heals more marriages than counseling ever will.

Eye contact. Conversation. Being reachable emotionally. Those things matter.

5. Address the REAL Issues Beneath the Fights

Most arguments aren’t about the dishes or the tone or the schedule. They’re about deeper wounds:

• Feeling unheard

• Feeling unappreciated

• Feeling overwhelmed

• Feeling alone

Paul gives a simple guideline:

• “Speak the truth in love.” — Ephesians 4:15

Truth without love is harsh.
Love without truth is empty.
Marriage needs both.

6. Deal with the Practical Pressures

Marriage often breaks down over ordinary life:

• Finances

• Parenting

• Exhaustion

• Workload imbalance

• Stress

• Lack of boundaries

Scripture insists:

• “A house divided against itself cannot stand.” — Mark 3:25

You must face these issues together, not against each other.

7. Get Help When You Need It

There is no shame in counseling. In fact, Scripture says:

• “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.” — Proverbs 15:22

A third party can bring perspective when emotions cloud judgment.

Top Christian Marriage Resources 

Not everyone can afford a weekend trip or paid counseling, so here are both paid and completely free resources.

PAID / IN-PERSON OPTIONS (Highly Effective)

1. FamilyLife’s “Weekend to Remember”

A widely respected Christian marriage retreat. Biblical, practical, and has helped thousands.

2. Focus on the Family – Christian Counseling Network

Connects couples with vetted Christian counselors—some offer sliding-scale pricing.

FREE OR LOW-COST RESOURCES FOR COUPLES

1. Focus on the Family Podcast – “Focus on Marriage”

Short episodes, grounded in Scripture, practical advice. One of the best free resources available.

2. “Marriage After God” Podcast (Aaron & Jennifer Smith)

Popular Christian marriage podcast focused on reconnecting spiritually and emotionally.

3. “The Naked Marriage Podcast” (Dave & Ashley Willis)

Direct, honest conversations about intimacy, communication, forgiveness, and spiritual unity.

4. YouVersion Bible App – Marriage Reading Plans

Completely free. Short plans you can read together daily.

5.  One Extraordinary Marriage Podcast

Discussions about how to create an amazing marriage.