We were at Lakewood Camping Resort in Myrtle Beach SC this week and one of the popular things to do is cruise the main drag in golf carts. One of the songs my grandkids were singing was "I'm bad at love by Halsey. That got me thinking about love and relationships. She's not the only one who is "bad at love" which is probably one of the reason's the song is so popular.
When you’re young and starting to think about relationships whether dating, a close friendship, or maybe even marriage someday, it’s easy to picture love as effortless. Movies, songs, and TikToks make it seem like if you find “the right person,” everything will just click.
But the truth? Love—real love—is hard.
Why Is Love So Difficult?
A big reason is that we’re naturally focused on ourselves first.
We want our needs met.
We want to be understood.
We want things done our way.
When two people are both thinking this way, frustration comes fast. Halsey’s song “Bad at Love” captures that cycle, trying again and again but hitting the same walls because the focus stays on “what I’m getting” instead of “what I’m giving.”
The Bible speaks directly to this in Philippians 2:3-4:
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”
That’s the opposite of our default setting. Real love requires selflessness—and that doesn’t come naturally.
What the Bible Says About Real Love
If you’ve ever been to a wedding, you’ve probably heard 1 Corinthians 13—the “love chapter”:
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking…”
Notice: not self-seeking. Love isn’t just a feeling, it’s a choice to put someone else’s needs before your own.
Jesus gave the ultimate example of this kind of love. John 15:13 says:
“Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”
If love means laying down your life, it also means laying down your pride, selfishness, and the need to always win an argument.
Why Young Relationships Struggle
If you’re just starting out in dating or building close friendships, here’s why love often feels extra hard:
Unrealistic expectations – Thinking the other person will make you happy all the time.
Self-focus – Worrying more about how the relationship benefits you than how you can serve the other person.
Avoiding conflict – Instead of talking things through, letting resentment grow.
Confusing feelings with commitment – Feelings change; real love stays when the excitement fades.
How to Build Stronger Relationships
Make God Your First Love – Without God at the center, you’ll expect the other person to fill a role only He can fill.
Listen More Than You Talk – James 1:19 says, “Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.”
Serve the Other Person – Look for ways to help them without expecting anything back.
Forgive Quickly – You’ll both mess up; bitterness kills love faster than almost anything else.
Be Honest and Respectful – Tell the truth and speak kindly, even in disagreements.
Bottom Line for Youth Starting Out in Love
Love isn’t just about butterflies, playlists, and late-night texts. It’s about patience, sacrifice, forgiveness, and putting the other person ahead of yourself.
The world says, “Look out for yourself.” God says, “Look out for each other.”
If you start living that way now—in dating, friendships, and eventually marriage—you’ll break the cycle of being “bad at love” and start building relationships that last.
Time to get "Good at Love." Video of my grandkids at Lakewood.
