I grew up way before cell phones in a small community were we told our parents we were going out and they said be back by supper. They had no idea about where we were and there was no way to find out. Our community was our friends so if we wanted to connect we'd have to get on our bike and ride. Things have changed and I don't think it is for the better. I see my grandchildren less connected to their friends and more connected to their tablets or cell phones. Below are my thoughts and some things that we might do to help our children and grandchildren.
Over the last 10 to 15 years, something has quietly but powerfully changed the way we live: the rise of the smartphone. What started as a tool to help us stay connected has, in many ways, done the opposite. It’s reduced the amount of time we spend truly connecting with the people around us.
We don’t talk face-to-face as often. We scroll more than we speak. We text instead of call. And when we do gather, it’s not uncommon to see everyone looking at their screens instead of each other.
What’s Changed?
1. Constant connection, but shallow relationships
We’re plugged in 24/7, but it’s surface-level. Social media makes us feel like we’re keeping up with people, but we’re not really with them.
2. Fragmented attention
Notifications, apps, and endless content keep our minds jumping from one thing to another. Even when we’re physically present, we’re often mentally checked out.
3. Decline in social skills
Especially for younger generations, face-to-face conversation is becoming a lost art. Many don’t know how to read body language, hold eye contact, or carry on a meaningful conversation without looking down at their phone.
4. Increased loneliness
Studies confirm what many of us feel: loneliness is rising, especially among teenagers and young adults. And it’s no coincidence that the rise in loneliness has tracked with the rise in smartphone usage.
Why It Matters
God created us for community—not just to be near each other but to know each other. When we lose the ability or the desire to connect in person, we miss out on one of life’s greatest gifts: real, meaningful relationships.
This affects:
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Families: Less conversation at the dinner table, more isolation at home.
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Churches: People attend but don’t engage. They come in late, leave early, and rarely form deep bonds.
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Communities: Neighbors no longer know each other. We’re living next door to strangers.
What Can We Do About It?
Here are a few practical ways to push back against the trend and reclaim real connection:
1. Set phone-free times and zones
Make the dinner table, church, and family gatherings screen-free. Teach kids (and ourselves) that people matter more than pixels.
2. Be intentional with in-person relationships
Schedule time with friends, invite people over, and be the one who takes the first step. Relationships don’t grow without effort.
3. Model conversation
Ask thoughtful questions. Listen with full attention. Make eye contact. Show your family and community what it looks like to really care.
4. Limit digital noise
Delete time-wasting apps. Turn off non-essential notifications. Use technology with purpose, not out of habit.
5. Teach kids how to connect
They won’t learn it from the internet. Teach them to shake hands, ask good questions, and be present with people.
6. Rebuild community spaces
Host a neighborhood cookout. Start a Bible study. Open your home. Community doesn’t just happen—it’s built.
7. Talk about the problem
Most people feel the disconnection but don’t know what to do about it. Start the conversation. Help others see the value of reclaiming real relationships.
Final Thoughts
We only get one life. Let’s not waste it staring at screens while real life passes us by. Let’s choose real connection. Let’s invest in relationships that matter. God gave us this life to steward well—not just through work or accomplishments, but through the love and care we show to others.
In a world that’s increasingly distracted, maybe the most radical thing we can do is look someone in the eye and truly listen.
